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Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 3642 times)

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #15 on: September 16, 2010, 09:54:35 PM »
0
You are sardarji and on a bus, when you suddenly fart.

Luckily the music is very loud.

So every time you fart, you time it with the music.

When you start making your way to the door as you exit the bus

Everybody is throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly

realize............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

You're listening to your IPOD!

ShayarFamily--> Shayaro Ki Mehfil

Re: Jokes
« Reply #15 on: September 16, 2010, 09:54:35 PM »

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #16 on: September 16, 2010, 09:55:06 PM »
0
Domestic quarrel

During a domestic quarrel our Sardarji hid himself under a bed. At last his wife found him out. She asked him to come out. To this he replied: "I am not afraid of you. After all I am a man. If I say I won't come out, I won't.

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #17 on: September 16, 2010, 09:56:12 PM »
0
The great sardar kidnap

A Sardar was down on his luck. In order to raise some money, he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

He then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put 2 lakhs in cash in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Sardar."

The Sardar then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardar checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

He opened the bag and found the exact amount of money as demanded with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardar?"

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #18 on: September 16, 2010, 09:59:51 PM »
0
Once sardarji entered a cybercafe to check his mails.It was crowded so he had to wait.As he waited he saw a man checking his mails.He stood behind him and watched.The man typed his password and was waiting when sardarji cried out "Yes yes I know your password.I can read your mails now.
"Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it".
Sardarji replied " Five star

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #19 on: September 16, 2010, 10:03:25 PM »
0
Sardarji enters a store that sell curtains.

He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.

Sardarji replies, "Fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"

Sardarji tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"

Sardarji says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2010, 10:05:30 PM »
0
Why are sardar's immune to Mad Cow Disease?
It only affects the brain.


How do sardars go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.


Why did a sardar tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping tablets!


What do sardars and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #21 on: September 16, 2010, 10:07:05 PM »
0
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
Sardarji: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #22 on: September 16, 2010, 10:17:23 PM »
0

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #23 on: September 16, 2010, 10:34:32 PM »
0
Sardarji goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking!"
Doctor replies, "Do you drink much?"
Sardarji says, "No, I spill most of it!"

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #24 on: September 16, 2010, 10:36:53 PM »
0
Sardarji is at the airport.
- Name?
- Santa .
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean, male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn ´ t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast! :-))

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #25 on: September 16, 2010, 10:41:40 PM »
0
How do you make a sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

RhythM_of_RaiN

Re: Jokes
« Reply #26 on: September 29, 2010, 02:41:49 PM »
0
Sardar : puttar tu paper vich 100% number lena
.
Puttar : Dont’worry me 200% levan ga
.
Sardar : Kanjar mazak karda mere naal
.
Puttar : Pehle mazak kis kanjar ne shuru kitta ?

RhythM_of_RaiN

Re: Jokes
« Reply #27 on: October 08, 2010, 03:34:26 AM »
0
Santa goes to consult a famous specialist about his medical problem.

"How much do I owe you?"

"My fee is Rs 500," replies the physician.

"Five hundred? That's impossible."

"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to Rs 300."

"Three hundred for one visit? Ridiculous."

"Well, then, could you afford Two hundred?"

"Who has so much money?"

"Look," replies the doctor, growing irritated, "Just give me Fifty rupees and be gone."

"I can give you Twenty rupees only." says Santa, "Take it or leave it."

"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in This Friggin' town?"

"Listen, Doctor," says Santa. "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive."

RhythM_of_RaiN

Re: Jokes
« Reply #28 on: October 08, 2010, 04:18:03 PM »
0
Santa and Banta Singh were very fond of cricket.
They would go to every game that happened in their city.

One day Santa Singh died in a car accident while he was on his way to
a cricket game.

A few days later he came to visit his friend Banta in a dream. Banta asked
Santa if heaven was good. Santa replied that it
was better than being on Earth. Banta Singh
wanted to know if there was cricket in Heaven.

Santa Singh said, Well, I have good news and
bad news for you. Banta asked, What's the good news?

Well, Banta, yes there is cricket in Heaven!
What's the bad news? The bad news is you are opening batsman in tomorrow's game!

Alika ahmad

Re: Jokes
« Reply #29 on: October 08, 2010, 04:51:59 PM »
0
A beggar to another beggar:
I had a grand diner at ‘Sareena’ yesterday.
Another beggar: how?

First beggar: sum 1 gave me 100 rs yesterday,
I went 2 ‘Sareena’, ordered dinner worth 2000rs n enjoyed the diner.

When the bill came, i said, i had no money.
The manager called the policeman n handed me over to him.
I gave the 100rs note 2 the policeman n he set me free.

ShayarFamily--> Shayaro Ki Mehfil

Re: Jokes
« Reply #29 on: October 08, 2010, 04:51:59 PM »

 

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